


the most stupidest smart person I know

by runinism



Category: The Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Comfort, F/F, Feel-good, No Harrow the Ninth Spoilers (Locked Tomb Trilogy), gideon nav is so fucking sexy, harrowhark nonagesimus is so fucking sexy, idiots to lovers, manifesting perfect lyctorhood, that trope where character a asks character b on multiple dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-24 11:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30071502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runinism/pseuds/runinism
Summary: Gideon's down bad for Harrow and asks her out multiple times, each one more extravagant and over-the-top than the last. Can't remember the name of this trope but it's cute I promise.College AU and no spoilers for htn!
Relationships: Camilla Hect & Gideon Nav, Camilla Hect & Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Gideon Nav & Palamedes Sextus, Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Harrowhark Nanagesimus & Palamedes Sextus
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	the most stupidest smart person I know

**Author's Note:**

> I really can't think if there's a name for this trope and I can't remember a single piece of media that uses it (even though I've read multiple books with it in), but if you read it you'll get the idea :D
> 
> I think this gets steadily worse because it's now 1am and I'm losing the ability to put together sentences but I promise I've proof read it (kind of??)

Gideon Nav sat across the table from Harrowhark Nonagesimus in the Canaan University Library. Harrow was bent over her anatomy notes, leaning so far forward that her small, pointy nose brushed the papers as she scribbled furiously, her gaze darting from her textbook to her writing and back again. 

In contrast, Gideon was reclining in her chair with her combat boots propped up on the table, laid so far back she was almost horizontal. She had a clicky biro in her hand and was tapping it against her thigh so that the barrel popped in and out with that irritating snapping noise those kinds of pen make. Harrow’s brow was becoming increasingly furrowed as the noise persisted and Gideon watched in delight as her face screwed up tighter and tighter. 

Finally, Harrow had had enough and she snapped her head up to send Gideon her most withering glare.

“Griddle, if you don’t stop making that impertinent noise right now, I’m going to shove that pen so far up your-”

“I think we should go on a date Nonagesimus.”

Her expression quickly morphed from cold irritation to one of shock, her mouth dropping open in a way that Gideon found almost comical.

“It makes sense,” the redhead carried on, beaming at the now speechless Harrow in front of her. “I’m a lesbian, you’re a lesbian, we’re pretty close and I think you’ve got a banging bod.” 

She tipped Harrow a wink as she delivered the last bit.

Harrow had closed her mouth by this point and was staring at Gideon, her features a mask of cool indifference.

“So what you’re saying is we should date because of situational convenience.”

Gideon’s grin faltered.

“Well when you put it like that-”

But Harrowhark wasn’t finished and held up a hand to silence the stammering Gideon before carrying on.

“You think that simply due to the fact that we both experience same-sex attraction and we happen to share a few common interests, a long history and can tolerate each others’s existence from time to time, we would make a good couple?”

Now Gideon’s mouth was the one hanging open now as she gaped stupidly at the pale girl who was shooting daggers at her with her eyes.

“Maybe we’ve been getting on recently, but don’t forget that I think you’re a bumbling, blithering idiot and I would rather be seen with Ianthe than date you Gideon Nav.”

With that final scathing statement, she gathered up her papers in both arms, turned sharply on her heel and swept grandly from the library, leaving a dumbfounded Gideon staring after her.

“Well that certainly could have gone better.”

Gideon glared at her friend Camilla Hect, who had been sitting a couple of tables over watching the whole disastrous proposition unfold, before burying her broad face in her hands.

“I don’t get it Cam- I thought you said she liked me?” she groaned.

Camilla raised her eyebrows.

“You weren’t exactly the most tactful. I’ve seen Pal get dates more smoothly than that and he barely knows how to communicate with anything that doesn’t use binary code. I know you like her, but you’re going to need to work a bit harder than that.”

Gideon scratched her head, her confusion showing on her face.

“I don’t get her at all. Usually I just flex these babies and all the hot babes fall at my feet.” she sighed, bending her arms in a way that made her ginormous biceps bulge impressively. “Why is this so difficult?”

Camilla looked at her thoughtfully.

“I guess you’re just going to have to try again.”

*****

Two days later, Harrow was walking back to her dorm after her anatomy exam, which had gone terribly. She hadn’t been able to remember the difference between the soleus and the serratus because a certain buff ginger had been occupying her thoughts. 

Stupid Gideon Nav and her obnoxious smile and moronic golden eyes and annoying big muscles and her absurd, hot, sexy way of doing absolutely nothing and still driving Harrow completely crazy.

She’d known and hated Gideon for as long as she could remember; for so long, in fact, that she couldn’t even remember why their rivalry had started in the first place. By some sick twist of fate, they’d ended up not only at the same university after leaving their hometown, but also with Gideon’s best friend Camilla being Harrow’s roommate, meaning they now spent an increased amount of time together. 

Harrow had merely tolerated Gideon at first, but the longer she spent in her presence, the more she found herself enjoying the terrible jokes and teasing insults Gideon threw her way. She’d started coming up with excuses to hang out with Cam when she was meeting Gideon, trying (and failing) to justify it to herself, before one day, she came to a horrifying realisation: she, Harrowhark Nonagesimus, fancied Gideon Nav. 

The idea had been enough to disgust her, but not quite enough to keep herself from ‘accidentally’ being in the library on the same nights that Gideon and Cam went to study. She couldn’t tell what Gideon actually did on those late night sessions, but whatever it was it definitely wasn’t working. Come to think of it, Harrow was pretty sure that Gideon’s course was purely physical and didn’t actually require any written work, which made her frequent visits to the library even more odd. 

It had been on one of these evenings that Gideon had sauntered over to the table Harrow was working at, before proceeding to irritate Harrow in her usual charming way for around an hour and then asked her out in the most lacklustre manner she could possibly have thought up, so tremendously half-hearted that there was no way she could have been serious. Harrow had been shocked at first, but that shock had quickly given way to blind fury and embarrassment. 

How could she have been so stupid? For a split second she’d really thought that Gideon, confident, gorgeous Gideon who could get any girl she wanted with a roguish wink and flex of her biceps, felt the same way that she did. She suspected the whole thing had been a joke at her expense and she masked her hurt with her usual cold demeanour, before leaving the library in the way she did best: very dramatically. She’d been avoiding Gideon ever since.

Still, she hadn’t been able to keep that dumbly gorgeous face from her mind during her exam and it was still there now as she opened the door to her dorm. She was so distracted in fact, that it took her a few seconds to notice the hundreds of black rose petals scattered only on her side of the room, covering the majority of her belongings, her dresser and surrounding Gideon who was lying french-girl style on her bed, beaming up at Harrow’s perplexed face.

“Go on a date with me Nonagesimus! Come on sugarlips, you know you want to.”

Harrow seethed. Was Gideon really willing to take her stupid joke this far just to humiliate her? She couldn’t believe she’d be so cruel.

“Nav.” 

She fixed Gideon with her most withering glare.

“All of this better be gone by the time I get back from the library. You’re an insufferable imbecile and I want you out.”

Scowling once more at Gideon for good measure, she grabbed her bag from the floor and left the room.

Camilla found Gideon still sat on the bed, still perplexed, when she returned from her run half an hour later.

“What happened?” she asked, trying to hold in her laugh.

“She called me an insufferable imbecile and told me to clean up.” Gideon sighed, “I don’t get it Cam, what does she want me to do?”

*****

Harrow could finally breathe a sigh of relief. Her exams were over and she’d managed to stay away from Gideon and keep her out of her thoughts for most of the three week long exam period. She’d been walking with Pal, discussing the contents of the molecular biology paper they’d just sat, when she noticed a crowd of people gathered around the statue of John Gaius in the main courtyard. 

As they drew closer, the sound of Never Gonna Give You Up got steadily louder. A sinking feeling began to settle in Harrow’s stomach; surely this wasn’t what she suspected it was. Not even Gideon would do something this brazen and public and embarrassing.

Yet there was the familiar ginger comb-over, just visible over the top of the crowd. Harrow pushed her way through the gathered students and, sure enough, Gideon was standing on the dais of the statue, in all her tank-topped, muscled glory and- oh gods what was she holding?

Gideon (or someone else, but judging by the terrible handwriting, it was probably Gideon) had made a huge cardboard sign that read ‘I’M NEVER GONNA GIVE UP ON US NONAGESIMUS”. She was holding said sign above her head, whilst Camilla stood beside her with her hand on a huge boombox looking just slightly ashamed. 

Noticing Harrow, who was now at the front of the crowd, Gideon grinned down at her.

“Whadya say, my malevolent mistress of darkness? One date?”

The look Harrow gave her in response was one of pure loathing.

“Fuck you Gideon Nav. I despise you, I truly do.”

Gideon’s face crumpled in dismay and confusion. She stared after Harrow’s retreating figure, trying to figure out what else she could possibly do to show her that she really, truly liked her. Camilla and Palamedes looked on in sympathy, but she turned to them, her expression hardening.

“One more time.” she announced decidedly, “I’m gonna try one more time and this is going to be the best one yet.”

*****

Gideon’s one true joy in life was not smoking hot chicks or her dirty magazines, as you might expect: it was rugby. She’d received a full board scholarship to Canaan University because of how spectacular she was at it, but that wasn’t why she loved it. 

From a young age, her life had been difficult and when she was on the pitch, she’d been able to find the release she needed from the problems of her home life. She’d grown to crave the rush of the wind in her ears as she ran and the cheers of the crowd gave her a high no substance would ever be able to mimic. 

She’d just played the final game of the season and Harrow had been watching. She’d got Pal to drag her along, although Harrow wasn’t as begrudging as she’d made out. The fact that Harrow was in the stands had been enough to push Gideon to play her best. They’d won by a huge amount and Gideon, still riding the feeling of her victory, put the final phase of her woo-Harrow plan into action.

She’d managed to convince the commentator to lend her his megaphone and she was now standing in the middle of the pitch, her eyes searching the crowd until they landed on her bone witch. Harrow looked both apprehensive and slightly confused.

“Harrow.”

Gideon’s voice rang out across the stadium.

“I really fucking like you, okay? Come on sugarlips, one d- ah shit.”

The ‘ah shit’ part of the proclamation came as a reaction to the sight of Harrow standing up from her seat and running from the stands. 

Gideon promptly dropped the megaphone on the floor, ignoring the noises of indignation coming from the commentator, and began to chase after her. 

Due to the fact that Gideon’s legs were much longer than Harrow’s and that Gideon’s whole thing was being athletic as fuck, whilst Harrow’s was living in the library, it took approximately thirty seconds for her to catch the smaller girl. She touched Harrow’s shoulder lightly, spinning her around to face her and was alarmed to see tears streaming down her pale face.

“What?!” Harrow was sobbing now, letting her emotions get the best of her in a way Gideon had never seen before. “What could you possibly want from me Nav?”

Gideon took a step back, her surprise apparent in her expression.

“Shit Nonagesimus. I- I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you didn’t like me that much.”

Harrow wiped her eyes furiously with her sleeve, smudging her thick black eyeliner in the process.

“You’re cruel Gideon Nav. I know you despise me, I just can’t believe even you would take your stupid joke this far! I don’t know how you found out I like you, but I’m sorry for whatever I did to you to make you torment me like this.”

Gideon was looking at her with confusion written all over her face.

“Harrow, what the fuck?”

“I like you so much, everytime I look at you I want to kiss that stupid smirk off your face and I keep finding excuses to be around you because I fucking want you Griddle and I can’t believe you’d take advantage of my feelings like this. Do you think I like the fact that I’m obsessed with you? I just want to be with you all of the time and you think it’s some massive hilarious joke!”

Gideon’s expression softened as she gazed at Harrow, a flicker of amusement dancing in her golden eyes.

“Harrow you idiot, I think you might be the most stupidest smart person I know. I wasn’t joking dumbass, I really want to go on a date with you. What did you think I was doing with Cam when she went to the library? Studying?”

She took Harrow’s small, bony hands in her considerably larger ones and grinned at her.

“So whaddya say Nonageezy? One date?”

Harrow looked up at her, a tiny smile etched on her face.

“Most stupid.”

Gideon’s eyebrows crinkled.

“What?”

“You said I was the most stupidest smart person you know. It’s not grammatically correct, the phrasing would be most- mmph!”

She was cut off when Gideon let go of one of her hands and cupped her chin gently, before leaning down to place a soft kiss on Harrow’s lips. Giving her another broad grin, she pulled away.

“Fine. You’re the most stupid smart person I know- now will you go on a date with me?”

**Author's Note:**

> did you all notice how i rickrolled you there
> 
> also i hope i wrote them okay, im really iffy about some of the dialogue theyre so fcking hard to write :/


End file.
